Tuesday, March 06, 2007

My Canvas

This past weekend was a memorable one for several reasons. The first reason is because I was able to enjoy the riveting guitar melodies of one Eric Clapton with some of the usual cast of characters (K Haug, Big B, The Roz, Drew, and Rach). The other is for an experience of a lifetime at a certain tattoo parlor known as Atomic Tattoo. Allow me to enlighten you with the truth...no thanks to the lies told by my brother.

The week started with the honorable Sheriff B turning an eye-popping 26 years old(over the hill in my book) and a great idea that he and I would celebrate the down slope of his life with some meaningful body art. We both have been wanting to add to our collection for some time now and we felt that this was as good on occasion as any to do so. We had general ideas of what we wanted; I wanted a powerful word or saying from the word of God to be displayed on my side, while my good friend Bryan debated on a sheriff badge with some form of the letter B on the inside...which after much effort i was able to talk him out of the silly idea, and he settled on a simple B to be tattooed on his back shoulder. The meaningful word that I chose was a Hebrew version of the word Justified, but after much ridicule which included the singing of "I'm going to have you naked by the end of this song" by Drew and Rach, I scratched that idea and again was without an idea nailed down. This turned out to be an OK thing since the tattoo place of choice was quite booked up despite it being a Monday night. After returning feeling very much defeated and disappointed, we received a call from the K Haug who assured us that if we waited until Friday he would most definitely get one with us. Even though I was sceptical of my brother getting yet another tattoo, we agreed to wait. This story really picks back up on Friday when the Pastor Haug rolled in town and we were able to gather a decent crowd to witness the pain and suffering that was sure to follow. As expected my brother did not in fact have a firm decision on a marking of choice, but he insisted this was a problem that could be remedied at the proper time...at the tattoo shop. Upon arrival at Atomic, I quickly forced my way to the front of the motley crew and demanded to go first. I had substituted my previously mocked idea for a great looking Hebrew version of the word Redeemed. I calmly took the chair and proceeded to have a nice man named Eric slowly but surely cut out the ribs on my right side. He did however try and sweeten the deal by offering me a blackberry, which I quickly rejected because I was too concerned with the spear I felt being driven through my ribcage. After what seemed like 3 hours of extremely intense torture, I relieved my place at the tattoo table for one of my companions to occupy. Assured of their intent to follow my lead, the Roz and I went across the street in order to pay for the carving I had just received.

On a side note, as I was minding my own business walking down the Drag, I was pegged by an projectile that I quickly learned was an egg (who does that) thrown by several large men in a passing truck. Although I stood there in disgust, I assured the Roz that I was in fact man enough to have taken them all on if the target had been her face and not my recently tattooed stomach. (I'm pretty sure she didn't believe me).

Back to the issue at hand. As I returned to the shop expecting to find one my close friends or my brother on the table, I was disappointed to find neither. B was still fumbling around aimlessly looking for the perfect font (which he has yet to find), and my brother was busy getting a tattoo history lesson from the man who had bled me like a stuck pig. The bright note was the drawing that "the carver" came up with as an idea for Kendal's forearm. He assured us that this type of tattoo was a much better plan than just walking in with some silly words to put on your body...although is was quite humorous, we were not impressed. Once the man realized that his two other victims were not nearly as manly as me, he reminded us that it was closing time and that he had a 6 year old son to return to (sounded made up to me). The night ended with two things proving themselves as fact: 1. I am the manliest person that i know and 2. LC Rocks is the greatest band since Led Zeppelin. Questioning either of these facts is futile and not worth a response at this time. Deal with it.